reflections

Gray sky, open field, white mist, dark water. Canadian geese lifting off, reflected in measured pairs of two by two by two. I stand in the dormant grass with my hands in my pockets, and watch them disappear into the fog. I wonder where they’re headed and if it’s a place I’ve ever been.

I think about friendship and love; childhood and adulthood; and how the seasons of life aren’t nearly as different as they seem. Children, for instance, grow into adults who –- deep down -– really just want someone to kiss them goodnight, hold their hand, make them laugh, reassure them in the dark. Someone to turn to the world and say, simply yet reverently, “this is the one.”

Geese ascend, reflected in the pond, two by two by two. I think about the news I just received from an old dear friend, news that someone she cares about is leaving town. Her voice is measured and even as she mentions his decision was apparently abrupt and unavoidable; that he’ll be half a country away in just a couple of days. Poised in the air between us, like a waiting breath suspended, half-formed hopes seem to hover and dissipate. I think of migratory birds seeking somewhere safe to land. Her tone remains neutral when she remarks that this someone dropped off a parting gift.

A gift? I say. What sort of gift?

Geese in flight, gliding in a perfect letter “V,” defying gravity. Every movement so precise, synchronized, flowing, like a graceful ballroom dance. How do creatures such as this –- creatures who will walk, even stand, directly in front of a moving car –- achieve such effortless airborne unity? So many times, I remember looking into a cherished loved one’s eyes. Seeing only myself reflected there, isolated and uncertain. Realizing that a lifting off has occurred, but not in the same direction.

A mirror, she says. He brought over one of his mirrors. He said it reminded him of me.

Gray sky, open field, white mist, dark water. Geese angle upward, disappearing into the distance, two by two by two. Prompted by some unspoken accord, some tacit yet shared understanding, to explore destinations I can only begin to imagine. I stand in the dormant grass while an impassive silver lake reflects the shifting clouds, the changing seasons, and landscapes left behind.